Wednesday, May 07, 2008

What's your premise?

So I was at some author event the other night and doing the chat thing with people at the pre-dinner cocktail party and found myself in conversation with an aspiring author who had just finished a book, and naturally I asked, “What’s your book about?”

And she said – “Oh, I can’t really describe it in a few sentences– there’s just so much going on in it.”

WRONG ANSWER.

The time to know what your book is about is before you start it, and you damn well better know what it’s about by the time it’s finished and people, like, oh, you know - agents and editors, are asking you what it’s about.

And here’s another tip – when people ask you what your book is about, the answer is not “War” or “Love” or “Betrayal”, even though your book might be about one or all of those things. Those words don’t distinguish YOUR book from any of the millions of books about those things.

When people ask you what your book is about, what they are really asking is – “What’s the premise?” In other words, “What’s the story line in one easily understandable sentence?”

That one sentence is also referred to as a “logline” (in Hollywood) or “the elevator pitch” (in publishing) or “the TV Guide pitch” – it all means the same thing.

That sentence really should give you a sense of the entire story: the character of the protagonist, the character of the antagonist, the conflict, the setting, the tone, the genre. And – it should make whoever hears it want to read the book. Preferably immediately. It should make the person you tell it to light up and say – “Ooh, that sounds great!” And “Where do I buy it?”

Writing a premise sentence is a bit of an art, but it’s a critical art for authors, and screenwriters, and playwrights. You need to do this well to sell a book, to pitch a movie, to apply for a grant. You will need to do it well when your agent, and your publicist, and the sales department of your publishing house, and the reference librarian, and the Sisters in Crime books in print catalogue editor ask you for a one-sentence book description, or jacket copy, or ad copy. You will use that sentence over and over and over again in radio and TV interviews, on panels, and in bookstores (over and over and OVER again) when potential readers ask you, “So what’s your book about?” and you have about one minute to get them hooked enough to buy the book.

And even before all that, the premise is the map of your book when you’re writing it.

So what are some examples of premise lines?

Name these books:

- When a great white shark starts attacking beachgoers in a coastal town during high tourist season, a water-phobic Sheriff must assemble a team to hunt it down before it kills again.

- A young female FBI trainee must barter personal information with an imprisoned psychopathic genius in order to catch a serial killer who is capturing and killing young women for their skins.

- A treasure-hunting archeologist races over the globe to find the legendary Lost Ark of the Covenant before Hitler’s minions can acquire and use it to supernaturally power the Nazi army.

Notice how all of these premises contain a defined protagonist, a powerful antagonist, a sense of the setting, conflict and stakes, and a sense of how the action will play out. Another interesting thing about these premises is that in all three, the protagonists are up against forces that seem much bigger than the protagonist.

Here’s my premise for THE HARROWING:

Five troubled college students left alone on their isolated campus over the long Thanksgiving break confront their own demons and a mysterious presence – that may or may not be real.

I wrote that sentence to quickly convey all the elements I want to get across about this book.

Who’s the story about? Five college kids, and “alone” and “troubled” characterize them in a couple of words. Not only are they alone and troubled, they have personal demons. What’s the setting? An isolated college campus, and it’s Thanksgiving - fall, going on winter. Bleak, spooky. Plus – if it’s Thanksgiving, why are they on campus instead of home with their families?

Who’s the antagonist? A mysterious presence. What’s the conflict? It’s inner and outer – it will be the kids against themselves, and also against this mysterious presence. What are the stakes? Well, not so clear, but there’s a sense of danger involved with any mysterious presence.

And there are a lot of clues to the genre – sounds like something supernatural’s going on, but there’s also a sense that it’s psychological – because the kids are troubled and this presence may or may not be real. There's a sense of danger, possibly on several levels.

The best way to learn how to write a good premise is to practice. Make a list of ten books and films that are in the same genre as your book or script - preferably successful - or that you wish you had written! Now for each story, write a one-sentence premise that contains all these story elements: protagonist, antagonist, conflict, stakes, setting, atmosphere and genre.

If you need a lot of examples all at once, pick up a copy of the TV Guide, or click through the descriptions of movies on your TiVo. Those aren’t necessarily the best written premises, but they do get the point across, and it will get you thinking about stories in brief.

And now that you’re an expert -go for it. Write yours.

21 comments:

Stacey Cochran said...

Alright here's mine for the novel I've been working on since last fall. You might remember, Alex, I came up with the title The Eternalist on that trip over to Charlotte.

A working class family is given a massive inheritance from a rich widower that they don’t even know because the woman believes her deceased husband’s ghost has told her to do so. Her middle-aged children, however, believe she’s losing her mind, and everyone gathers together at her mansion in the mountains of North Carolina to hear her explanation. They quickly discover that the ghost is not just in her mind.

Please critique.

Alexandra Sokoloff said...

I think that's very good, Stacey - it has almost all the elements I listed above You certainly see the conflict and it's an intriguing hook (She did WHAT???).

The elements that are not coming across yet are the tone and the stakes. Well, actually, and specific genre. We know it's supernatural, but is it a comedy or horror, inspirational or thriller, or something in between? Without adding more lines, can you find substitute some more descriptive words, especially the adjectives and verbs, to make the conflict sound funnier, or more ominous, as the case may be? Are we afraid these people will end up dead or insane or in prison, or do they only stand to lose some ego and find love along the way?

What emotions are you trying to evoke in your reader?

Stacey Cochran said...

Great suggestions, Alex. I started with the idea of compassion for this woman in mind; that is, her belief in her husband's spirit is true to her.

And her grown child care so much for her, this tears them up inside.... because they believe she's losing her mind as a result of losing her husband.

It's supposed to be both emotionally compelling and, at times, frightening as hell.

Picture Tuesdays with Morrie crossed with The Shining.

R.J. Mangahas said...

I'm not really sure if this would be a premise or a hook, but here it is.

"One morning, Meredith Shaw wakes up dead, then her day really starts to go wrong."

Alexandra Sokoloff said...

That's a hook, RJ, and it's excellent - very funny!

Chesya said...

Lets try this:

During integration in the sixties, a young black girl uses her powers to see the dead to help solve a crime for which her brother is falsely accused.

Alexandra Sokoloff said...

Wow, Chesya, I love that one - would pick up that book in a second. It has everything I like in a thriller - Big social conflict as well as psychological conflict, huge emotional and physical stakes, a person with supernatural powers who is probably not at all in control of them, which makes everything more dangerous and makes the whole thing a coming of age story as well, and the brother-sister dynamic which I never get tired of.

Just excellent!

Alexandra Sokoloff said...

More examples from recent deals in Publishers Weekly.

Philipp Meyer’s debut novel, American Rust
Told from several alternating perspectives, the book is a tale of redemption and survival in smalltown America, in which a murder changes many lives.

from debut authors Kami Garcia and Margaret Peterson
In the first book, a girl from a cursed family of extraordinary supernaturals moves from a boy’s dreams into his hometown, but he is unable to save her.

Elizabeth Bard’s Lunch in Paris: A Love Story with Recipes
Sherman pitched the book, about falling in love over food in Paris, as Julie and Julia (also edited by Clain) meets Le Divorce (without the divorce).

three books in a supernatural series by Richard Kadrey
The first book is called Sandman Slim, and the main character is a wizard who returns from 11 years in hell to find out who betrayed him and murdered his girlfriend.

Kathryn Magendie said...

Listen to Alex - she knows what she is talking about -- and I should know; I took a class with her at Pen to Press - the best danged class I've ever taken on writing since ...since years.

Tammy Cravit said...

OK, here's mine for the current work in progress -- comments are welcome:

When one of the kids on her caseload disappears and another winds up dead, social worker Tessa Riley goes looking for answers. As she digs for the truth, she comes face to face with a monstrous conspiracy, where innocent young girls are for sale to the highest bidder, and the lives of those closest to her hang in the balance.

The working title at the moment is Abuse of Discretion.

Ace Antonio Hall said...

Okay Alex, thank you for this helpful post! Here's mine for a novel I've been working on called Dead World Living:

A special Agent dying of cancer races to follow a trail of clues that have led her to believe that there is a gateway to a world where death and disease no longer exists before a fallen angel finds it to infect yet another civilization with destruction.

Can you please critique?

Alexandra Sokoloff said...

Hey Ace - it's an intriguing concept, but complicated. I think you need to clarify and simplify the premise line. I had to read it three times before it clicked in what you were talking about.

For example "A special Agent dying of cancer discovers a gateway to a world where death and disease no longer exists, but must fight to save this world from a fallen angel who intends to infect yet another civilization with destruction."

BUT - I don't know if that's actually your story. And I think you need to give some idea of how your heroine discovers the world to begin with - ie - through dreams, or through coma, or what.

Hope that helps a bit!

Ace Antonio Hall said...

Wow, you are psychic. I had come up with these three before I saw your reply:
#1

When a special agent finds out she's dying of cancer, she races to find a world free of death and disease before a fallen angel seals it up.


#2

A terminally ill female agent must find the doorway to a disease-free world before a fallen angel eradicates all civilization on her present world.

#3
A reckless female special agent races against her terminal illness to find a gateway to world, she and others have collectively dreamed of, before a fallen angel completes his mission of destroying their planet.

You are right, it is through dreams, but I'm having trouble trying to quantify if it makes sense that her and others, who had the same dreams, get her to the doorway.

I must admit, I thought I had it all down to a science until I reaad your blog. This is a very helpful blog. I will truly be indebt to you, once this gets published.

I'll tighten it up this weekend, though, when I'm off work and can hear myself think.

Ace Antonio Hall said...

Is this better:

A faithless, ex-military cook finds out through prophetic dreams that she is to help a group of religious survivors defeat a fallen angel and find a gateway to a parallel world that is free from disease and the living dead before she dies of terminal cancer.

mary said...

My story takes place in the time of yore. The turmoil begins when due to a promise made between fathers, a heated argument ensues. The father of my heroine is accidentally killed by my hero's hand whilst attempting to protect his own father.

Since she has no protector, my hero becomes her protector by becoming her husband.

Guilt can be a powerful force. Is it guilt that draws my hero to my heroine or something much more stronger? Can they overcome the past and build a life together?

Read on...and enjoy.

Mary

Alex, how is this for a premise?

Please critique. Thank you.

Karen from Mentor said...

Alexandra,
Mine is more of a book jacket blurb. I started caryying around a synopsis of all three books I'm working on because it's easier to talk about something that I KNOW so well to someone innocent to my wholly invented world if they have a jumping off point.
Thanks for the post. Great and informative as always!
Karen

Jax Stephens is a 47 year old professional organizer, recent widow and mother of 28 year old twin sons. Her life is calm, predictable and normal; then she meets divorcee Gina Harris.
During what should have been a routine organizing job for Gina , Jax finds a decomposing body, is threatened with a shotgun, witnesses nine fresh bodies littered over Gina’s tree lawn and is accused of murder on tv.
Jax not only has to finish a brilliant make over of Gina’s house, she has to help the police and FBI find the real murderer before she’s put in the slammer herself for a crime that she didn’t commit.
And, oh yeah, Jax gets involved with a really hot guy who just happens to be a BIT younger than she is and they have lots and lots (did I say lots?) of sex.

Kori said...

Wow, hi! I just found your blog via your guest-blog over on the blood red pencil about twenty minutes ago, and am now going through everything you've listed to help me with my own novels. I've completed one (it's with friends for editing) and am about 2/3rds of the way through my second, but I have a bit of a problem. XD They're utterly different genres. Utterly different. Epic fantasy versus paranormal suspense.

Since the paraspense is the one I'm working on at the moment, I'll see what I can do to get the premise out for it, based on what you've given me in this post.

Twenty year old Zander Jaden is afraid of the dark. In the three years since his mother died, he's been haunted at night by things he calls 'the creatures' - yellow-eyed, sharp-clawed beasts that want nothing more than to tear him to pieces. Three years of losing sleep because of the creatures, and Zander finally swallows a bottle of prescription sleep aids to get some rest, but the rest of his family thinks he just tried to kill himself, and installs him in a sprawling mental hospital in the middle of nowhere. The creatures find him even there, and he's racing against time before a total solar eclipse gives them the power they need to break free.

Now that I've written that, I can see that it needs to be a bit shorter, and that's not even HALF of it (there're all those powerplays between Jaden and the other patients in the hospital, his doctor, astounding revelations, but I don't know how much to give away with this.) I'd like to pronounce it 'very okay' for my very first attempt, but I'd love feedback on it if you've the time.

Anonymous said...

Danielle Monson -- here's my premise:

A rescue team must go to a ship crashed in the high mountains and rescue its two occupants while higher authorities – the head of Medicine and the head of Military – quarrel over whether to save the two aboard or kill everyone involved in the rescue. Then the team learns that one of the two they are to save is a worthless and despised human.

Alexandra Sokoloff said...

It's a good plot, Danielle, and concisely told - but I would try to get in a few more descriptive words about the characters so we know who we're dealing with and who we're rooting for.

Ja'Nese Dixon said...

An undercover investigation against a vicious rebel group, suspected of trafficking conflict diamonds, is jeopardized, FBI agent Camille Blackwell is left with no choice but to trust fellow agent, the infamous Marc Fulton. Together, they must find the rebel leader before he finds Camille.

Ja'Nese Dixon said...

Alexandra,

Forgive me. I was so excited to see that you're still reviewing premise statements that I clicked "Publish" before entering my greeting.

Here's my premise for my NaNo story:

An undercover investigation against a vicious rebel group, suspected of trafficking conflict diamonds, is jeopardized, FBI agent Camille Blackwell is left with no choice but to trust fellow agent, the infamous Marc Fulton. Together, they must find the rebel leader before he finds Camille.

I look forward to reading your comment(s).

Thank you!